


Darkness, Cold, Heat

by SifaShep



Series: The Quarian and the Infiltrator [6]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Mass Effect 3, NSFW, Post-Leviathan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:18:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6332443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SifaShep/pseuds/SifaShep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Leviathan, Tali helps Shepard banish the chill in his soul. NSFW, you've been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness, Cold, Heat

Cold. Dark.

_Your mind belongs to me. Breathe._

Pressure. Pain. Worse than the worst migraine he'd ever had. Blood vessel burst under the strain; sticky liquid out of his nose and the corner of his mouth.

 _Don't resist. It will be easier if you don't resist._ The sensation of someone-- _something_ \-- rifling through the contents of his mind, like through an old trunk of clothes, throwing the useless information at his feet.

 _The Reapers see you as a threat. I must find out why._ His entire life's history flashes across his mind, his goals, his motivations. Triumphs. Defeats. Hates. Fears.

Mindoir, Akuze. Saren. Matriarch Benezia. Kaidan dying on Virmire. Ilos. Harbinger. An explosion threw him into the cold dark vacuum of space. The hiss of lost air. Panic. Pressure on his lungs, lightheadedness, spots at the edges of his vision.

 **Not like this! I can't die like this!** A fight against the inevitable, a part of him hoped that his crew couldn't hear his gasps for air, his last thought of a young Quarian and the wish that she would find someone who loved her as much as he did.

_Tali, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..._

Cold darkness snuffed him out. Another flash of memory: Liara as the new Shadow Broker.

_Are you going to give Miss vas Normandy a homeworld?_

_Tali is important to me._

Love is an illogical motivation, but a valid one. Affection for one who is not even of his species. Illogical but not irrelevant. Someone to live for. A future to fight for. That in itself was a reason to win against the Reapers.

Cold, dark. Breathe.

 **Keelah, don't ever do that to me again**. The fear of losing him again to the darkness. She already had, once, and she couldn't bear to do that again.

But he was so cold...  
*****  
He sat up in bed, silently gasped for air. Pain pounded in his head, his lungs burned, his limbs felt like lead. He ran a hand down his face and willed his heartbeat back to normal. He almost expected a trickle of blood from his nose.

No, he was safe aboard the Normandy. There was plenty of light, oxygen, he wasn't going to die. Again. Shepard coughed and put a hand under his ribs. The horror of his death quickly subsided back into his dreams, but he still found it hard to breathe.

He'd never told anyone about those last few seconds, before he mercifully blacked out.

"Shepard? Remy?" She shifted against him, still drowsy, but quickly returning to awareness.

 _Dammit._ He took another deep breath and looked down at her. "I woke you. Sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"I was already awake." A lie, but he let it go. She sat up next to him, pressed warm lips against his shoulder. "That nightmare again?"

"A different one. Just as bad, though." He told her everything he could remember, but that was enough. She knew about the dream with the dead boy from Earth, the whispers of all the people they'd lost in this war. But _this..._

"Leviathan." It was a statement, not a question. She looked up at him with concern. "You're shivering."

"I've always hated the cold, ever since Mindoir, but I hadn't been afraid of it. The darkness--" he shuddered, but forced himself to go on, "--it wasn't bad until Alchera. Mix them together and..it takes me everything I have not to panic."

She inclined her head, those wide eyes searching his. "Every time? You hide it very well. No one even notices. I can tell when it bothers you, but I might be biased."

He took another deep breath and let it out. The simple movement assured him that he was alive, his heart beat again, and air flowed through his lungs. He never took this for granted, not anymore.

"The great Commander Shepard, afraid of the dark? That's a hell of a note." He didn't mean to sound mocking, but it came out more sarcastic than he'd meant. "I was able to keep it together long enough to get the mission done. But now--"

She reached up and placed her hands on either side of his face. "You're not alone in the darkness anymore. I'm here, and I'll always be here. Always."

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. This was why he loved her so much. "Thank you, Tali."

"You've always been there for me." She smiled and brushed her lips against his. "Let me take care of that chill for you."

"I'm fine--"

She kissed him, gently at first, then with more force. He groaned as she moved into his lap and wrapped her long legs around his waist. Automatically he slid his hands down to her lower back as she pressed herself against him. She brushed her fingers down his chest, over his hip bone--

"Tali, I- _ungh!"_ He grunted as she gently stroked him. All thought of sleep flew out of his mind as he tipped his head back. She pressed her lips to his collarbone and hummed softly, the vibrations running through him. He bit his tongue against the curses that threatened to escape him, but lost the battle when she kissed her way up to the outer shell of his ear.

"You need to teach me some of those," she whispered hoarsely. 

 _Tell me if it's too quiet and I'll find you someplace louder._ There was no embarrassment, no shame between them. He'd always been quiet during lovemaking, but when he was with her, she took down his defenses, and he found himself echoing her passion. He still couldn't imagine Tali swearing in Cajun French, but maybe--

He jerked up against her and put a hand on hers. " _Merde, chere!_ Not gonna last long if you keep doin' that," he growled, but she didn't stop.

"Keelah," she whispered as he shifted his hips. He slid deeply into her as she rocked forward, timing it so perfectly that they both groaned in pleasure. He leaned back against the pillows as she moved on him, the heat building inside, flowing into his veins and erasing the cold.

"Tali," he gasped.

His breaths came faster, and a different lethargy set into his limbs, not the heavy hand of death, but the excitement of pleasure. He slid his arms around her and adjusted the angle, enjoying her soft cry of surprise.

"Mmmm...feels so good..." She hovered over him, her smooth skin gliding over his. Tali knew exactly what he needed and he let her do it.

He felt the spasms within her as they slowly grew in intensity and moaned as the convulsions rippled through him. God, to see her expression on her face: eyes closed, long lashes against her cheeks, her mouth open in an 'o' of delight. He concentrated on her to keep any semblance of control.

But she knew how to strip that control away from him. A different kind of pressure, building higher and higher, then surging...he squeezed his eyes shut as the tide reached its peak. He gave into the rush of molten heat, arching under her as his body shuddered hard enough to make his head spin. They both cried out as she joined him, as that heat burst with the intensity of a supernova.

Then she collapsed on him with a final shudder. They lay there, limbs entwined, as the fire died down into a pleasant warmth. The sleepy kind that lasted through the night. He reached out and ran his fingers down her hair.

"Tali," he murmured. "Thank you."

"Not cold anymore?" she teased, her voice languid with sleep.

"No, not anymore."

"Good." She yawned a little and settled against his shoulder. He chuckled at the self-satisfaction in her tone.

"I've unleashed a monster," he teased back.

"Only for you."

He smiled and hugged her close. No, he wasn't cold anymore, not while she was with him.


End file.
